Loving this story and really happy to see the update.
The part about Ben's talent "food served by a military-grade hottie in nothing but some short shorts all oiled up and glistening" sounded like words to a song. I laughed at myself when I realized I was thinking of REO Speedwagon's "Keep on Loving You." The lyrics "Instead you lay still in the grass All coiled up and hissin" sound more like Lita.
And yes, sometimes I wonder about myself...